The last time my dude came to visit we talked about our relationship and we came to the understanding that we are both still trying to figure out our purpose in life & he’s trying to figure out what God wants him to do outside of his life in the Air Force National Guard. I’m just now finishing things I needed to do in order to secure a job teaching through an alternative certification program in my state (after 5 years post college) so I’m fine with us just talking things out and getting ourselves on track before an engagement, marriage, and babies.

But yesterday we were talking about my IUD and he starts back making jokes about “accidentally” getting me pregnant or me “trapping him”. He’s made these jokes before saying he was trying to trap me and get me pregnant or that I should have tried to trap him and I was shocked that he started them again after our talk last month. Yesterday he said that it would be fine if I’d lied about the IUD and gotten pregnant because then we could get married and move in with each other. I asked him wouldn’t he be mad if I did that since he told me that he was trying to get his life together first and he said, “well I’d just have to figure it out fast because we’d be having a baby and getting married.”

I’ve asked my friends why he would say this and they all say that its clear he has deep feelings, but is also confused. I just find it so odd. I don’t exactly want a baby right now and it was his jokes about trapping me that made me get the IUD in the first place. I’m terrified to have a baby with my finances the way they are right now, even though I know I’d be okay if I had a baby with him. His jokes make my baby fever rise and I start thinking reckless. Lol! Idk how to take his comments. I know he definitely loves me a lot and would be great as a husband and father, so his jokes make me think “hmm maybe I should get pregnant, I’m not getting younger.” Its so confusing.