cheating

unfortunately this is my first post here lol but i just need some opinions. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 and a half months and we are very much in love. our relationship was going so well and we were so happy. he treats me better than anyone else i’ve ever dated and i was never insecure in the relationship.

this week, however, was our high school’s “beach week” where basically everyone goes down to myrtle beach in south carolina and gets drunk for a week. i was very excited to go, because he was going too, and it was his birthday at the end of the week.

anyway, i’m there for 1 day and he tells me that he made out with another girl when they were both blackout drunk at a party. he cried when he told me in person and i was just so shocked because it was so out of character and no one had expected it. at first i thought i would be okay with it (mostly) because he said they were blackout drunk, i know being drunk isn’t an excuse but i have no idea what i’m doing when i drink that much either.

as the day wore on and i kept thinking about it, and second guessing everything, i was devastated and so hurt and i cried the entire day. i texted him how i was feeling and his responses made it seem like he almost didn’t care, which was so surprising to me because he always made it seem like he cared so much.

so the next day we met in person again and talked about it for about an hour in his car. we both cried and i told him how much he had hurt me. i don’t know if i sound delusional but i could tell that he regretted it a lot, he doesn’t show his emotions ever and that was only the second time i had ever seen him break down.

the talk went okay, i kept reiterating how much he had hurt me and all of my worries and it just all spilled out. basically, he asked if i would forgive him and i pretty much said that i didn’t know but i would try. i guess i did.

i don’t want to defend him and i’m not trying to, but his friends had told me what a wreck he had been the night before and how he had stayed at their condo locked in his room the entire night (instead of partying at beach week??? surprise surprise).

anyway, the next day i was fine until like midday when i just missed him so much that i started sobbing because i was so confused if i had made the right choice or not, i just know that i’m stupid and in love so i didn’t know what else to do.

i ended up calling him on the phone (idk if i mentioned this but we are staying in separate houses about a 5 min drive apart in myrtle beach) crying which was hard because the whole time i hadnt really cried like that in front of him. anyway, he drove over and we again talked in the car and THIS time i was like “if i don’t see you putting in more effort to redeem yourself” or whatever else shit i said i don’t even remember “i’m done with this.” and i told him that i didn’t want to even have to tell him to do that. anyway, we ended up going back to his condo because his friends needed the car and we talked some more and ordered a pizza and watched TV (i promise that’s all that happened lol).

i’m sorry this was so long but typing this out was honestly a little therapeutic. anyway, i’m coming here to ask for advice! i love him so much and i think he made a stupid mistake. never would i have imagined him doing something like this and i know everyone else was surprised too. was giving him another chance the right choice? ive been so up and down and emotional this week, i just want to hear some of your opinions.