Uhg need to vent my thoughts

Pregnancy loss is fricken wild. One day I’m fine and the next day I’m not. I try to count my blessings that I have a two year old to love and hold but the what if’s haunt me late at night. He could have had a sibling. It’s been 9 months since the loss and sometimes I think I’m finally past it and then it crashes into me all over again. It takes such a toll on you, in all aspects of your life, especially relationships. The due date really messed me up all over again. I have been so cold for so long while at the same time putting on a brave face and pretending rainbows shoot out of my butt. I’m so over feeling this way. I would never wish this on anyone. I wish it wasn’t such a taboo. People should be able to talk about it. Thank god for apps and communities like this because outside of here miscarriage/pregnancy loss seems so forbidden to speak of. Why? I should be allowed to openly hurt. Honestly if I could share more of my story, especially with those around me my healing process would have been and would be so much easier. And honestly I just want to know why. Why me? Why us? I don’t know. There must be a plan I guess.

Prayers and hugs and love to everyone else going through this 💕 you are stronger than you think. Please reach out when you need to and remember you are loved