I know this may spark some debate, but I’d like to hear some opinions about how I’m feeling...

I am 3 months postpartum with a baby boy and I also have a daughter just shy of 2 years old. Aka, I’m deep in mom life. I’m a SAHM and my husband is a night shift nurse. Lately he’s been picking up a lot of extra shifts to pay for an upcoming vacation, so I’ve been “single-momming” it a lot. I love being a mama, but it’s also exhausting and I am constantly feeling needed all the time. It’s been a long week of me doing it all on my own. Nothing sounds better right now than just some peace and quiet without anyone crying or asking me for things!

Anyway, my husband does the bare minimum- around the house, with the kids, etc. and I get that he’s working a lot, so that’s okay, I suppose. The problem is, I feel like the only thing he’s contributing to our relationship right now is making me feel objectified. We see each other maybe an hour total each day that he works, and he spends that time slapping my butt or grabbing my (milk-full) boobs, or telling me that I’m hot. Or grabbing me, during the 30 free seconds I have before the baby cries to be held so I can switch over the laundry, and pressing his penis up against me. And while I’m glad that he still finds me attractive, it just feels so intrusive. I’m needed ALL the time already, and it just pushes me over the edge. I know having a good sex life is important to the relationship, but I need to have other needs met (like connection through good conversation, or a little help with the kids) before I can feel turned on. And I’ve told him this, but it’s like I’m married to a 16 year old boy! The physical stuff is an important part of marriage, but that’s all I’m getting from him, and I’m not being filled up with love in any other way.

Today’s been a long day, involving an hour drive each way to visit my family. I didn’t get home with the kids until almost midnight. They both woke up when I put them to bed, and it was a process getting them back down. I’m tired, and I just want someone to say, “hey, you’re doing a good job!” But then I get this text: You are so beautiful and you have such amazing, sexy strong legs and all I want is to see you in a black thong and thigh highs. Your legs look so good in stockings, I want to rub them and hold them. I’ll just hold you while wrapped up in a blanket while we rub our bodies together. Going slowly and enjoying each other’s company, I want to make you tremble when I touch you and let you feel safe and secure in my arms. When you’re ready for it, I’ll slide my big fat long hard cock into your dripping wet tight little pussy. I want to make you CUM all over me and have me finish on your big perky tits or in your pretty little mouth. Your choice!😉”

Maybe this should make me feel amazing. Maybe my hormones are still crazy from pregnancy. Maybe I should feel grateful for a text like this. But instead, it makes me feel objectified. I don’t want to wear a black thong and thigh highs. I just want to take off my freaking nursing bra and be comfortable. I’d rather just spend quality time with him, catch up on things, and not feel like I have to please him after I’ve pleased two small children all day. While I think sex should be prioritized in marriage, I think there are different seasons where it may just not be so high on the list. Am I crazy?