Its 2am and I'm crying my eyes out... I'm 29 year old woman whose divorced because my ex cheated on me months after we got married to this beautiful woman, I gained weight because I became dependent on marijuana to help with my depression (self medicated...what a mistake..) and I'm 90lbs over weight, I moved back home to live with my parents, and while the rest of my friends are having babies and traveling, I am now in recovery, working, and on the road to regaining my physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional, health back. My life is slowly on the up and up but I can't help but feel like sh*t now and then. I've lost friends due to the stigma around marijuana and I feel lonely from time to time even though I haven't smoked in a little over a year. Most days I'm ok but on some nights, like tonight, I can't sleep and I feel miserable. My ex has moved on, I've dated, but I hate who I see in the mirror and I have trouble loving myself let alone someone else. I feel like a loser. To top it off, my mother and I got into a stupid fight and I just had it. Shes an old-school person and can speak very cruelly at times to me with absolutely no filter. The fight tonight was "you fucking idot. I cant fucking believe you I ought to smack you". Why? Because I was painting my nails close to her favorite table cloth. I can't. I just can't. I'm dealing with alot of inner demons. I can't deal with petty sh*t too. I just want a friend to talk to...someone who will love me in the good and bad times. I wish I could have someone to call on days like these. Someone I won't have to pay to listen to me speak..just something real. I just had to share.. get this weight off my chest. Thank you for reading this far.