July....

July is my month of no apps, no charting, no checking BBT, no OPKs, no checking CM or CP.

Probably the only thing I’ll write down is when we have sex. (On paper)

I always thought I was a super chill person. When we started TTC the first month was super chill but we were also ignorant in the fact that it’ll happen so easily.

The second month I decided to increase our chances and use OPKs. It was also the month I found out I ovulate late.

The third month I decided to increase our chances even further and start a vitamin and health regimen to help with my short luteal phase. I bought a kit to keep track of ALL my hormone levels. It in fact made me feel worse as the results were heartbreaking.

And the negatives kept following afterwards.

Turns out I’m not chill at all when it comes to TTC.

And as much as this app is helpful; when you’re ttc and not being able to it can almost feel toxic, obsessive, and depressive.

I know this post sounds sad and like I’m loosing hope.

I’m not. I know I will have a baby one day that turns into a little demon who turns into a preteen who turns into a teenager. I have hope that it will happen.

But sometimes you need to find what’s causing imbalances in your life. I used to think charting would be helpful and for me, personally, it’s not.

It makes me worry more than I should.

Makes me stop my life a little for the 15 min I have to wait for tests.

Maybe we just need to really relax and not think of ttc. But think of our mental health because at the end of the day that’s more important than ttc.

Thank you for reading I didn’t mean it to be this long.

Baby dust ✨✨ to everyone new to ttc and to the ones who’ve been here a while. To everyone.

My journey here is almost over as I’m waiting for this cycle to end and starting super fresh next cycle. I hope we all see a BFP. And I hope we all see that ttc is not our life. It doesn’t define us. We are all still amazing, strong, beautiful, and intelligent women even if we don’t get a BFP.

Xoxo