Take Two... (Warning)


My son was born and passed last June (infant loss, not mc), and now I'm 6 weeks pregnant again. How do I calm all the worries that this baby will have a heart defect, too? How do I not spend every waking moment trying to distract myself from all the things that can go wrong again? Or could go differently wrong this time? He was full term, I got to meet him and hold him and have him look back at me, but I never got to take him home because of his defect (he died on the operating table at 3 days old). We've been told that the chance of the severe defect he needed open heart surgery for is 1:20,000, but that the chance of the milder other defect he had (which has a whole spectrum of how severe it can end up being) presenting again is 1:20. How do I not fixate in that 5% chance? I knew my son's surgery had an 87% survival rate, and we fell on the wrong side of the odds before. I want to enjoy this, but all I can do is worry about the "What if?"s.