I miscarried on December 17, 2018. I found out I was pregnant shortly after thanksgiving which is when my relationship began having trouble. I kept my pregnancy from my boyfriend because he expressed multiple times his dislike for children and how he doesn’t want kids. After I miscarried however, I still had the symptoms and the morning sickness was a little stronger so I told him that I was pregnant but that I miscarried because he started noticing. He was only upset about the fact that I even became pregnant, but the loss seemed to make him feel better about it. I was completely alone in my grief. I went to the doctor a day after the miscarriage and it was confirmed and I was told to abstain from sex for 4-6 weeks to allow my body to heal.

(TW)

Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>, my boyfriend forced himself on me even though I said no. He had never done anything like that previously in our relationship. Christmas morning I spent with him and his family, I think I did a pretty good job of hiding the morning sickness because they never brought it up. Fast forward to New Years Day - my boyfriend explained to me that he has certain goals in life and he doesn’t see how I will fit in his "big picture", so we ended our relationship. I personally think it was the pregnancy and the loss that pushed him to ending our relationship.

I haven’t talked about it, but since I’m a writer I’ve been writing poems to my little baby that I lost. Im single now and working on myself and my career, but not a day goes by that I don’t think about it.. although I know when the time is right I’ll be blessed with a rainbow baby.