Long story short I was in a long distance relationship with my ex boyfriend for 4 years and I hid the relationship from my parents for 2 1/2 years of it. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17 and lost my virginity to him when I turned 18 (I really regret it now). When I went to college we saw each other weekly when he would drive to see me. But I broke up with him almost exactly a year ago bc I was tired of being cheated on, mistreated, abused emotionally, physically, but most of all sexually. He didn’t take it well and went off the rails and started threatening me saying he was going to come find me or my family and friends and that this wasn’t over and it never would be for me. He threatened suicide and wished that this would all come to an end. He started stalking people from the school I transferred to and my new friends and sorority sisters. I finally told my parents and they were super understanding and supportive and told me to seek legal help and they would help me with whatever I needed.

Recently in the last month or so however, I’ve started having dreams about him finding me and trying to come at me and then in my dreams I kill him and am happy about it... I feel like I’m going a little crazy. I have tried going to therapy but the therapist tried turning it around to say I have parental issues which ya I argue with my parents occasionally but who doesn’t... no one is going to agree on everything 100% of the time. I also have been to the gynecologist bc I was having pain and she said I need to go through physical therapy bc It’s probably from all the trauma that I’m having these terrible spasms and pain...

Idk really what I’m looking for here but I just felt crazy and a little overwhelmed again and needed to just say it somewhere so get it all out again.