Her fish died, what do I say?

Question

So my daughter just turned 5 last week. She is already concerned about dying and I'm not really sure why but sometimes shell just randomly say "I never wanna die I would miss you so much". Well for her birthday we bought her a fish and it died. I want to tell her the truth because I want to have good communication with her but im also worried this will further her worries surrounding death. Any advice?

Answer

Death is a natural part of living, there is literally nothing alive out there that doesn’t eventually die. I don’t agree with lying to children about it, I wish we lived in a culture where death wasn’t seen as such a shocking horrible thing. Some cultures celebrate the life of the person when they die and I wish I grew up like that instead of being shielded and taught to think of death is such a horribly negative manner.

Answer

I think honesty is the best policy. I grew up on a farm and sometimes things died. We were never lied to about it, it was just discussed at an age appropriate level. In this case, "it got sick and died. It's ok to feel sad that your friend is gone." Maybe have a little ceremony for it and talk about why you liked it, and bury it.

Answer

This concept is weird to me because my family has always been open and honest with the little ones in our lives. Push they learned young about sex and death and things of that nature

Answer

Lol my daughter had her beta fish Bella for 8 year.. she was many many many different sizes and colors lol. This year the gig was up and I said child, I'm done running to the pet store twice sometimes 3 times a year 😂 I'm glad I waited to tell her, let her be young longer when she's older she can understand and handle things much better

Answer

Replace it with a new one. I'm sure she loved the fish so much and it took a big part of her life. She doesn't need that stress at her age.

Answer

I would tell her straight up and then honestly you could always get her another fish.. I was always extremely upfront about it because eventually the truth going to come out

Answer

I think in any belief you can find hope concerning death, even if you aren’t spiritual and just have scientific beliefs - death is a process of life. Humans live for a long time, and it is hard that many of our pets will die in our lifetime but to them we are their life. That is the positive we have to remember, that we were a blessing to them for as long as they lived. And even a fish with a short life can live on in our memory and shape who we become, so in that way they don’t really die. They live as part of us, and that is how life goes on. 
However you approach talking about death, I think you can’t go wrong if you remember hope. And remember that understanding death takes time, so have hope yourself that future conversations and experiences will alleviate her fear 💙

Answer

Thanks for the response everyone! I contemplated just replacing it but I have to drive an hour and a half to get anywhere near a fish to buy so that just seemed like a lot lol. I sat down with her and told her that it did die because I remember my mom lying to me about my animals dying and I didnt like that very much so I figured I would be honest about it. She handled it very well though. She didnt cry but did Express that she was sad so I just gave her a hug and she went on with her day. I was probably just worrying about it to much

Answer

You could just tell her your cleaning it’s tank and get a new fish so she won’t know.

Answer

Nope. Just replace it.

Her fish died, what do I say?

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