My fiancé’s ex wife has been extreme difficult since they broke up; going against the courts to deny access with his son, moving house and refusing to give us her address then changing her number, telling their son that his dad is “a horrible bastard” and that he doesn’t want to see him and doesn’t love him etc. This all started happening because she made a pass at him and he politely said the relationship was over and that he wasn’t interested in getting back together. She kept sending flirty messages and pictures and he’d tell her to stop being inappropriate and things would get worse again with regards to his contact with his son. It’s been like this for 6 years. She was physically and mentally abusive to my fiancé while they were together and since we’ve been together she’s been abusive to me more times than I can count and is constantly awful to him, aside from the odd day where she apologises and then goes too far.

All of a sudden she wants to be friends. My fiancé has told her that he’s unsure how he feels about this as things have obviously been the total opposite for years but she’s insistent that she wants to start over and that she’s done fighting and genuinely wants to just be friends for their sons sake. I had my reservations too, but their son is the most important person in this situation so I’ve bitten my tongue. She’s been more inclusive of him in their sons day to day and is updating him often, and he sees him everyday on skype now too, which is obviously amazing and I am thrilled that they have that daily contact now, but I’m struggling with the whole situation.

The only time she’s ever been friendly is to set my fiancé up for some ridiculous request (money) or to try and speak about them getting back together. I’m trying to be positive about it all but I feel so angry every time she texts him. She doesn’t deserve his friendship and she doesn’t deserve for him to be nice to her after what she has put both us and their son through. I know there’s a bigger picture to look at and I’m trying but man it’s hard 😕

**EDIT**

Just to add, we are rolling with it and taking each day as it comes with her new found attitude. My step son has definitely noticed the difference and has been asking why his mum is being nice to us all of a sudden, saying it’s a bit weird because normally she doesn’t like me or his dad, which is absolutely heartbreaking. She’s been fairly nice to me if we have to text about something but it’s nothing more than polite, but with my fiancé she’s started getting more and more comfortable every day. This week she started answering the Skype calls (when we call to see his son) with her makeup fully done/in low cut tops etc and makes terrible excuses like “oh sorry he’s just in the bathroom I didn’t want him to miss the call” when he can clearly be heard talking in the background. One day my fiancé passed me the phone right before she answered so he could grab our son from his nap and she turned her phone away from her as quickly as she could when she saw it was me, saying “hold on I’ll get him” before putting the phone on the side and walking off.

About an hour ago she texted my fiancé a photo of their son with some info about his upcoming school concert and then went onto saying how it’s so great to be raising such a good kid together and that he definitely follows his dad with how smart and talented he is. My fiancé replied that their son is a credit to all of us (meaning both of them, plus me, and her husband) and she texted back “thanks that means a lot ❤️ though I’ve been told 4 times recently how he’s the absolute double of you and the worst part is I can’t even deny it, he’s like your mini twin! 😂 we have such a handsome, clever, kind boy ❤️”.

It’s just so tiring trying to be positive but also expecting things to blow up all of a sudden like they normally do. Usually it only takes one thing said that she doesn’t like (including not being friendly enough when we text her) and the arguments start again and contact is cut. Absolute exhausting living with that fear whilst trying to be nice and civil 😑

My in-laws hate me