Separation anxiety (me, not my baby)

I can’t be away from my baby. I mean at all. It makes me anxious thinking about the next time I have to get my haircut or go to the dentist.

Just to give some back story, I was told it would be very hard for me to have kids. I have had a lot of health problems. My baby is my little miracle.

I had a great pregnancy, but an awful labor. After 31+ hours, an infection and an allergic reaction, I had to have an emergency c-section. The first time I fed my baby, she turned blue. The doctors hit the code blue button and doctors swooped in from everywhere. I have never had a worse moment in my life. I thought we had lost her. I couldn’t handle that pain. I still have flashbacks to that moment and start shaking.

Now, nearly 8 months later, I am with my baby every waking hour. I have dropped down to part time at my stay at home job and work after she goes to sleep each night. I honestly get the worst anxiety even thinking about leaving her (even with her dad) for anything more than going to the bathroom. It’s not that I don’t trust my husband to be alone with her, I just don’t want to be away from her.

I guess I just want to know if anyone else is going through something similar or if anyone has advice for me. I know at some point I’m going to need to be away from her, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it.