Pregnant sister asking to move in with me, what would you do?

Question

So my sister got pregnant by this guy she’s only known for a few months, they were TTC I told her to use birth control but that’s besides the point cause now it’s too late. She’s 19, and has no help besides me. Our mom lives hours away, and our dad passed away last year. She has no job (she was living off the money my dad left us after he died but she’s blown A LOT. At this point she has no way of getting a house or anything) and is a full time college student. She doesn’t want to move in with our mom and step dad because her reasons is that all her new friends she has met in school live here. (🙄) Her baby daddy left ofc I told her he would, he’s an abusive POS. Has choked her, hit her, went to jail for a DUI. Has no job and lives in his moms basement. List goes on.. so she asked me if she could move in with me and my husband. Ofcourse I’m going to let her because I’m not about to let my little niece or nephew be homeless because they haven’t done anything, and even though I think my sisters choices have been awful I love her and I’m not going to watch her live in a shelter. Here’s the problem though. I don’t know what we are going to do. I’m 20, I’m in college full time I go in 4 days a week and I work part time. My husband works from 5AM-5PM. The only time we have left we spend together. My sister doesn’t work. Obviously she’s gonna have to get a job because we can’t support her baby. However we won’t make her pay rent or anything I just want her to get on her feet so she can get a place of her own... BUT if she works then who’s gonna watch the child? There is no way she will be able to afford daycare in the area, I’m talking about almost $2,000/month and she has no work experience. And me and my husband are never home. There’s no way her friends will help out. Ugh we are all stressed. Has anyone been through this and how did you make it work?! Also I’m kind of concerned because she’s out with her friends EVERY night. And I don’t want to be in a position where me and my husband are always having to watch the baby or financially support both of them because we don’t have a child of our own right now for that very reason, we have no time and we’re young just starting out and all our money goes to bills, groceries etc we only have a few hundred each month after all that, which we save and only have a little bit to spend afterwords. We’re also newly married and just got a house of our own and I don’t want all this to effect our marriage. Idek what to do please help
*EDIT* —- forgot to add she lives in a dorm in school with a roommate. A TINY dorm, no way to have a child in there at all or can barely fit the both of them and she only has it because my dad left us a lot of money (over $100k each so she has lived off that) but she’s blown almost all of it now, on college, college housing, bought a $20k car, traveling with friends who knows what else. Just irresponsible with it for the most part, So she can’t get an apartment or anything like that now. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Answer

DONT DO IT. SHES IRRESPONSIBLE AND YOULL LIVE TO REGRET IT.

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She needs to get a job ASAP, and as far as daycare is concerned that is her responsibility and should not be something that is stressing you out. If she wants to keep the child then she will need to step up, otherwise she can look into adoption. This is 100% on her, she should be getting some money from her ex for child support once that gets established.

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I know you want to help your sister and that is admirable. But this is not a good idea. You have no idea how much this is going to affect your lives, your marriage, your time and finances. My advice is not to do it. Your sister will benefit from having to be an adult and figure things out on her own. Don’t do it!

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If you allow her to love you you need to be okay with the idea of supporting her and her baby financially.  She sounds really immature and selfish (who tries to have a baby while broke and still in school at 19? Totally selfish) and reckless with money.  You WILL be raising that child. If you're not okay with that then you need to say no.

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Options: adoption. Also she needs to get a job ASAP and apply for assistance. I’m sorry but if you take her in more than like your going to be raising that baby.

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She made the choice to try to get pregnant in a shitty situation now let her stand on her own two feet and deal with the choices she has made. You tried telling her she was dumb but she didnt listen. I'd tell her I'd take the baby if she ever didnt have a place to stay so the baby wouldnt be on the streets but shes an adult. I got pregnant at 17 and had no support from anyone. It was hard as hell but I survived and it made me that much stronger

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Because she’s so irresponsible, I’d say no. She needs to get a job, an apartment and deal with the consequences like a grown up. Or go live with your parents.

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NOOO. She's an adult. She's not going to be homeless, you just said she has your mom and step dad. She can suck it up. You're saying she would "have to get a job" but if she's that irresponsible then 1. She might not get one at all or 2. She'll spend her money on herself and you'll be left taking care of her AND the baby. Just don't do it. Don't.

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No, no not a good idea. I get it she’s your sister but she not your responsibility. She can go with your mom and your step dad she made the choices and who cares where her friends live. Whatever you do don’t let her live with you . She made her bad choices , have your mom help her out . She don’t want to go live with your mom, because there she was have strict rules to follow she will go live with you and she will be your worst nightmare .

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She can apply for government benefits. There’s child care coverage if she is approved. I’d tell her to apply for wic and food stamps as soon as possible.