Husband slept with someone else
Idk what to do ladies.
My husband and I have been together 6 years. He has a job that requires him to travel sometimes. Well, he was away for 3 months. 12 hours away, so never could come home, therefore not seeing the kids.
Anyways, we began fighting a lot and things got rough. I actually brought up divorce because of it. I didn’t mean it, it was wrong. I was just so stressed from doing everyone alone for months. After crying and arguing he agreed. Days go by.. I tried to talk to him but he said me saying that made him realize he was done and needed to get out.
2 weeks went by and we argued back and forth about it. I eventually accepted that he wanted out. (Didn’t realize he was talking to someone during this time. However, it started after the “separation”)
So one day I had this bad feeling out of nowhere. I checked his location, it said he was 5 hours away. Weird.. considering he was 12 hours away. Then, his phone was shut off. For 3 days.
3 days I had no idea what was going on.
On this past Sunday I got a notification from Find My Iphone stating his phone was found. When I clicked on it, it said he was 8 hours away.
So I called him. Immediately he picked up and was bawling his eyes out. I mean, the the point that I couldn’t even make out a word he said. I got him to calm down, we talked. He said he loved me. He said he needed me. That he needed us. That he was so sorry and wanted us to work.
The next day I questioned him so many times. He kept saying he was with a guy, he didn’t get my calls/texts for 3 days. He never left the state.
Finally I got him to admit it (after the girl messaged me on Facebook) he drove 11 hours to go see her. He stayed at her house for 3 days. They had sex 6 times. She told me the day he left her house, he messaged her and told her how sorry he was and that it couldn’t continue and he was in such a dark place and should have never had sex with her in the first place. That he was trying to desperately get over me and he couldn’t.
Now, we have had a rough relationship the last year. He lost his mom, I lost my dad, my brother went to jail, we were grieving the death of our newborn.
I don’t know if this is worth working out. Obviously it would take a long time. We technically weren’t together.. but still, we were married. I just need advice.
The night I found out he slept with someone else, I did the same. It was wrong but I went into such a bad mental state that I don’t even know what happened or why I did it. But, he keeps telling me that he hated it and he kept having sex with her because he thought he could get over me and that we had been back and forth for so long that he just thought it would make it easier to move on. He also said that he admits he didn’t think about me during those 3 days because he tried to forget and make himself feel better and that the moment he left, he broke down. That just happened to be when I called him. He said he’s completely willing to go to therapy, get help, show me that he isn’t like his dad.
Obviously at this point we are not together and will be completely separated, I’m just not sure if I should even keep the idea open that one day we could Fix it.