What to do when your period is the trigger

I know this post sounds stupid, but I was with someone that would track my period. He was very mean to me, now I realize it, but he would always track my period and that’s when he’ll be nice so I’m not sure what’s wrong with me but every time i get it I get so depressed and i just feel so much self hatred. I know it’s stupid because it’s been so long ago, but I want to rewrite myself