Diary Entry #8

Tuesday January 22,2019

I honestly can’t believe what happened tonight again. I don’t understand him and why I choose to entertain his shit. He just seems so genuine sometimes. He’s been showing me different sides of him lately and I kinda felt like we were getting closer but he said it himself if he fucks with you he’s very comfortable around you. So I guess he fucks with me. I don’t really know why though. He got the chance to hurt me once again,hopelessly, I let him. It’s just something about him.. his aura.. that draws me in. I can stop it any moment but I just feel like somethings just need to happen.

Took another ride tonight with him, he’s so nonchalant but comfortable to be around.. I found myself fiddling with my hair or my earring sometimes (which I lost in the car by the way, I hope he finds it.) we drove to a usual spot he always takes me to, he says he goes there to clear his kind & he only ever took me up there Tuh! like I actually believe that. But anyways, we weren’t up there 2 mins and got stopped by the police. 😕 I was like what the fuck.. I was praying nothing happened to us being that it was only me & him & the police officer.. he searched the car for a good 5 mins & checked the gun he had.. told me I could get back in the car & the cop finessed his bullets 😂😂, but after that we just rode around the city, he sung songs to me and rapped the words to me like we were actually in a movie or some, grabbing my chin to look at him or grabbing my thigh, it was cute honestly. We found a place to park & chilled , we enjoyed each others company as I watched him get into the country music that was playing, I’d never thought he’d be the type to listen to country music but hey you can’t really judge a book by it’s cover .. he switched it over to blues & I somehow ended up in his lap, he laid me back into his chest with my head positioned in the crook of his neck & as it played softly in the background he sung along lowly in my ear.

I can’t really piece together how this next part went because as the music changed to something sensual so did my breathing, right when he rubbed on her through my jeans. Next thing you know he flipped me around to face him and began attacking my neck .. tonguing me down as I tried doing the same to him .. he warned me kissing him like could cause some consequences but still I’d shut him up by kissing him more.. I could feel his large fingers exploring inside of me .. building up more & more pressure I edged off to the side while he continued to kiss on my neck .. slowly he went down to my nipples caressing and swirling his tongue around one I really couldn’t contain myself I wanted to stop, needed to, I rubbed his head trying to resist doing something I wouldn’t dare do, still his fingers pumped in and out of me but at a quicker pace while his thumb massaged my pearl, throwing my head back in awe he whispered sweet nothings in my ear....