Shame

I hate my body. I've always hated it and I fear I always will. I've had fat jokes made about me since literally kindergarten, at home and at school, then since adulthood when I'm at the doctor's office or the gym. I feel disgusting and I always have. So this is my last ditch effort to lose enough weight that I won't be viewed as a burden, a drain on society, lazy, or incapable of caring for my own health. Trust me, I care. And I know all of this. And if I don't get down to at LEAST 150 by this time next year, I'm gonna give up and just hate myself forever. So here I am. This is my before picture. I guess by making this post I am seeking some encouragement and support.