My sex life is going down the drain

Help! I don’t know what to do.. I’ve been with my man for a year and the last month-ish sex has NOT been right. He’s always ready for quickies. And normally I am too. But I’ve told him repeatedly I need a little “warming up” because he’s torn me in the past and he agrees.. but all he does is shove his tongue down my throat, throw some spit on his dick and just goes for it. I had to put a stop to it. I told him I need more than that.. because it causes me to tear every time and it’s so uncomfortable. I’ve suggested lube for those moments and he says “lube is for pussys”.

He doesn’t do anything romantic anymore, doesn’t go near any of my “turn on spots” and he knows that..

Another thing- I always go down on him. He refuses to go down on me for more than 30 seconds because “he doesn’t like being folded like a taco” whatever that means? He doesn’t like laying down on his stomach to go down on me, he wants me to ride his face- it does nothing for me at all it’s uncomfortable. Even when I’m halfway off the bed and he’s basically on his knees going to town he fucking stops 20-30 seconds later. Every time. I haven’t had an orgasm AT ALL, not even close, the last 6-7 times we’ve had sex. Even before that it’s a 50/50 shot I won’t finish at all. The last few times also only lasted about 5-8 minutes..

I don’t know what to do about my sex life. He doesn’t take me seriously. I’m sick of not getting off while he’s over here enjoying every second when I’m dreading the after pain of tearing and being even more horny than before..