Stressed

*Do not judge me please, I’ve honestly been really stressed having to deal with all this basically all on my own.*

Okay I ended up removing my son from Headstart per teachers advice after the first day because they couldn’t “handle” him and that he just had so much energy in his little body that if they could give him one on one time they would’ve loved to have him but with all the other kids they couldn’t keep up with him and told me that he needed to be evaluated for ADHD.

I had the appointment set up and everything ready to go, I ended up not taking him (he had just turned 3 at the time, turning 4 next month) because his father and my mom talked me out of it (we’re not together) basically saying well he could be a completely different kid next year. And I listened instead of trusting my Mommy instincts, I so wish I wouldn’t have.😣 He is different but he still has all that energy. Also his doctor is having me get him evaluated for his Speech at the same place his teacher wanted me to get him evaluated for ADHD which in some weird way I think is a sign.

When we go I’m going to talk to them about it in person, and I’m honestly thinking about not even telling his Dad because he is one of those people that absolutely doesn’t want to believe something is “wrong” with his children. He thinks ADHD is fake and something that doctors just throw on kids. I wish I would’ve never let them talk me out of it, and now he wants to know if I’m putting him in Headstart again this year. I haven’t even thought about it, I thought it would be best to just wait until Kindergarten. I don’t want to do anything like that until I’ve gotten the stuff with his speech, etc figured out and they tell me what steps I take from there. Plus last years experience with Headstart was so bad.

I guess I just need advice. Or at least someone to tell me I’m not crazy and that I’m doing the right thing. If there’s something up with my son, I’d like to deal with it now rather than later ya know, and I told his Dad that before, he still didn’t agree and thinks I just want something to be wrong with him.

*Sons dad isn’t on birth certificate and I am his sole caretaker but I still feel wrong making certain decisions without his approval even thought I have every right to. The whole thing is just stressful. I’ve literally cried over all of it. I feel so alone in this. And I know I should’ve never let anyone talk me out of it in the first place but I just felt really ganged up on and I told myself I’ll wait a year, and if he’s still showing signs by his birthday then I’m getting him evaluated.

**Also adding I have ADHD myself, diagnosed when I was 5, and now I’m almost 20. It’s 100% a real thing I’ve had to deal with everyday of my life and is genetic. But I didn’t want to feel like I was trying to push that on to him just because I have it. I’m just trying to do the right thing for him but I honestly don’t know what to do, I don’t want to believe he could have it, but I also want to get him with someone that could help him if he did have it.