Heartbroken

I've lost everyone I have ever loved truly and I just dont want to deal with this pain anymore.. my husband acts like it's just depression but it's not. It's the fact that my 18y old sister died 3 months ago because of some man she has a restraining order case on. I lost my grandmother who raised me and my parents abandoned me for drugs. I mean.. i feel completely alone and talking to a fake therapist will never work.