☹️😔😔😩

I’ve been with my bf for about a year. And I know I get on his nerves but it has been exceptionally hard to trust! I have been through hell and back. And I know my trust issues has put a heavy strain on my relationship. He has shut down he even called the police on me to get out his car. I noticed that he lied about being somewhere and when I questioned him he got extremely mad. He then went on to scream and holler call me childish and dumb stupid even a retart. He also said he see why everyone I dealt with cheated on me. Because I did go and follow up to see if he was where he said he was. He said I was stalking him and I turn him off. I’m devastated because I feel like I deserve him to degrade me in this manner because I have been so annoying with my trust issues. He is currently talking about me to his sister. I’m devastated and torn!!😩😩😓😭