I hate the way that I can sit here amongst my family and friends and they can all just converse like nothing is wrong. The fact that I can sit here quietly, obviously hurting and nobody acknowledges anything, and when they do it's the equivalent of "why are you being such a grumpy ass, come socialize." Maybe I don't want to? Maybe I'm genuinely contemplating my life? Maybe I hate the fact that I feel like this, being triggered by the smallest, stupidest things, but the effect lasts hours..

I'm also ready to leave for college and can't wait to leave my town, I'm already invisible enough here beside those I love, I'd like to just go somewhere where no one judges me for being depressed, it's not like I can help it... I'm sorry I'm like this.. don't you think I've tried to fix it... I try to fix it.. but sometimes you just.. I can't.. and I'm sorry if you feel like you wasted your time reading this, but I had to tell someone.. anyone...