My husband and I both want kids. I love them I am great with them so is he! We are in the perfect financial place to have kids. But! A couple years ago I got pregnant. We were floored because we thought I couldn’t get pregnant and we’d been trying for years. But I ended up getting severe morning sickness, and prenatal depression. I tried taking the pills the doctor gave me but nothing helped. By 10 weeks I was feeling crazy and out of my mind. So I had an abortion. It felt like the only thing I could do to be safe and take care of me. I honestly wasn’t sure I would survive that pregnancy. I was sure I was going to kill my self because I couldn’t get away from the sickness or the depression. I hurt so badly and I was so afraid of everything. I cried non stop, had back to back panic attacks and couldn’t leave the house by 8 weeks. After the abortion I regretted it. I kept beating my self up saying if I had pushed through if I hadn’t been weak it may have been ok. It been a couple of years, and we still both want kids. I have a therapist and I am on medication, but I go back and forth about a million times a day. I’m not on BC but I’m not having much sec around my fertile days either. I’m so paranoid that this time will be the same. What if I’m broken. What if I’m just mental and not meant to be a mom? I feel like a total nut. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not alone?