Help before I get married

I been with my boyfriend well now fiancé for 6 years 5 of those years we’re the worst years of my life I was so madly in love with him that every time he screwed up I would always go back to him. I’m the person who will show him that I love him not just tell him. I’m romantic I guess. I would bring him lunch to work and then I would find out he wasn’t there after I had just called him to make sure he was there and when I confront him he tells me It’s my fault for going to his job in the first place. He was with friends smoking and he said if he told me he called of I would want to hang out with him and he didn’t want to. That’s just one of the things he’s done I even caught him talking to one of my friends that I’ve known since middle school and same thing he said it wasn’t fault for going through his stuff and that he didn’t do anything bad but the things he would tell her like if I wasn’t with her you I would be with you right now. She’s beautiful so I get it. So years later and I finally call it quits last year December I break up with him and I think it’s for good this time. He said it was fine and I don’t hear from him for months I started seeing people to get my mind of him cuz I was going crazy thinking of I’m the entire day so I started seeing people. He comes back and at first I’m so skeptical about I because he’s done it before and he looked so sad like he really missed me and he started to change he went back to school he was coming to see me everyday which was a miracle cuz I used to go weeks even months without seeing him and he only lived 5 minutes away from me. So at the end I end up taking him back but I tell him I was seeing other people he now says I cheated on him. My parents see how much he is starting to care and want me to be with him. My parents keep insisting when he will marry me and to tell him to talk to them about marriage. He purposes to me and I say yes I come to find out it was all my parents idea the came up with how he should purpose so I was hurt cuz I was hoping it would come from him. Now we fight all the time cuz he doesn’t come see me no more he says we’re to busy but I have two jobs and I still have time to see him he only works one job and says he’s tired and he doesn’t want to come for just a little. I guess I just want someone to love me and actually show me how much they love me and I tell him this but he says I’m marrying u what else do u want or he says how can u say I don’t love you when I’m marrying you. I feel so depressed I feel so sad and stuck I feel so stuck cuz the wedding is all paid for my parents want me to marry him and I don’t know how to stop it or if I even should. I just don’t feel the same way about him anymore I love him because I care about him and I want the best for him but I don’t think I’m in love with him. And as the wedding gets closer I’m more scared then ever I don’t know wat to do he’s not a bad guy he just doesn’t know how to treat me the way I feel I deserve to be treated after everything he put me through. I just want someone to love me and show me and who isn’t too tired of being with me. What do I do?