I’m 23 and living with my boyfriend. My entire life I haven’t known what’s wrong with my mother. We fought my entire life over things that she is too stubborn to apologize for or admit to. Shes always told me what I do and don’t want from a man and from my life, she always tells my brother and I the amazing job and office she had before she had to leave and have kids, how hard kids are to have, and has bullied me all my life. Whether it was how stupid I was (she would constantly make the joke to friends, family and even my guidance counselor when being asked about what college I’m going to “well, that’s if she graduates high school!” Jokingly). She’s told me all my life not to be a “dirty girl” and even asked me why I needed therapy and got weird about it and didn’t feel like I needed it after I told her it would be charged on the health insurance (I NEED THERAPY CUZ OF HER!!)

She hates when I cut my hair short and hates when it’s naturally curly but I’m starting to listen to my boyfriend saying he loves it and I’m starting to embrace it. Not to mention the fact that she constantly asks what I’m going to do with my life even though I’m in school, with a job, living on my own. My SO and I also have a large age gap and she judges that even though she’s had no problem with him helping with their errands and helping me with car troubles and I don’t know... LOVING me???

She was abused as a child and her father died young. I’ve been told she has alcoholic behaviors even though she doesn’t drink. I just want to know what issues she has and if it’s reasonable to cut her off and tell her I won’t talk to her until she gets therapy? I feel like all she cares about is what people think of her and any sense of me doing anything off kilter (I.e. she didn’t move in with her dad until they were engaged, so apparently I’m committing a felony) she gets angry and irrational and mean