I wouldnt wish the pain I am experiencing on my worst enemy. The pain of waking up in the middle of the night to check on my 2 year old son to make sure he is still breathing. Going through a split second of thinking oh no he might be gone too.. because he looks so limp and lifeless when he is sleeping. I woke up that horrible day to my baby boy laying so still head tilted to one side on his back. My heart dropped, I immediately without thinking grabbed his body up and tapped his back. I was taking all the precautions.. I yelled to my husband to call 911, my other son woke up staring at me give my baby cpr. I remember the knowing he was gone when I saw the blood on the bed, but the hope of him breathing again kept me from stopping. I remember taking him to the floor so he could be completely flat and on a hard surface.. I remember hearing the ambulance come and the EMT run into my room as I hopelessly plead to him to take him and to help him. I remember running to get clothes on while calling my mom and her not answer the phone. Running down the courtyard stairs to get to the ambulance. Falling down the stairs when I missed a step and not even feeling the pain because all I could think of was my baby.. I remember going and sitting in the ambulance while they performed cpr. Seeing them put the defibrillator patches on his chest. Everybody coming out of the complex to just watch as I paced back and forth crying knowing my baby was gone. I remember getting into my mom's car and just screaming my baby was gone as she sped to the hospital with me and my son and my husband and my sister. The nurse put us in the room with him as they performed CPR until 7:53 am when they called it. I remember the doctor coming over and telling me before he called it they would try once last time to get him to come back. I remember hearing the doctor say the time of death and my heart dropping as I ran out of the room into the family room with my mom and falling to my knees.. I wouldnt wish this on anyone. The feeling of seeing your child lifeless is the worst feeling to ever have. The feeling of never seeing them again of never hearing their cry or seeing them smile or laugh. I had him home for just a week, he was in this world for only one month... I wish I had a video of him home of him crying if him smiling and moving and just I wish I had more videos and photos of him. I wish I could have held him one last time... To anyone who took the time to read this please just take those extra moments with them take as many photos with your babies as many videos with them. My heart my life my everything is just broken and incomplete. He made me perfectly happy, I felt like life couldn't get any better than that. Thomas mommy loves you and if there is a day we meet again I will wait patiently to see you. ♥️