Relationship Problems

My fiancé and I have been together for almost four years. We have been long distance the entire relationship, with three hours distance. He is finishing his masters and hopefully applying to law school right after. He has one more year of his masters online; he also works part time. I have my masters and am currently working and trying to pay back student loans. We both live with our parents. We never get any privacy at either of our houses, and his sister her husband and their two kids live with him and his parents.

My dad recently had surgery and I asked my fiancé to call him. He said he would text and he did not feel comfortable calling. (My fiancé doesn’t think my parents like him; I don’t think this is true I just think they want someone who can provide for me and since he’s younger and not done with school he can’t yet. Also, he never asked my dad for my hand in marriage.)

Long story short, I asked him to call my dad again yesterday and he flipped out on me. The real reason I asked was because my mom kept making comments like I can’t believe your fiancé hasn’t called to see how your father is doing. This led to a huge fight between my fiancé and I. I ultimately apologized but then got upset because he kept talking about my parents. They may not make him feel loved but they’ve never been rude or disrespectful to him.

I then went on to mention how I never talk about his parents and how the real reason I don’t want to visit him as often as I used to is because his sister is rude to me. She makes me feel uncomfortable every time I’m there. She deliberately tries to start fights between us. For example, last time I was there we were all eating dinner and she made a comment about how he was never there eating dinner with them. (Of course I later asked where he was since he always claims to be home).

My fiancé does nothing but defend his sister and family yet he completely belittles mine. I would never make him chose between his family and me. Yesterday after we argued he said if you can’t get along with my sister and my family then maybe we should be done. I hung up and cried in disbelief. I took a shower and gave myself time to calm down and called him but he didn’t answer. This was late last night so I just went to bed hoping to hear from him today.

I still haven’t heard from him today. This post was partially a vent but ultimately to ask advice. Do you think I should reach out to him again or see how long it takes him to contact me? If we argue he does tell me he purposely gives me time to cool down (basically ignoring me). I don’t know how to handle this situation and family is literally the only thing we’ve ever had real arguments about.

Any advice is appreciated. Also, before anyone just says move in together, we are looking for places. I’m looking for the nicest place I can find for the lowest rent since I have student loans and he’s only working part time. Obviously one of us will have to move away from our family and because it’s cheaper where I’m from he said he would move here.