To go on the college course I want to do I have to provide my own materials, which could end up being quite expensive.

So, to provide my own materials, I need a part time job.

To get a part time job, I need to get childcare.

To pay for childcare, I would need to use my wages from my part time job.

Meaning I wouldn't have the money to pay for my own materials.

Meaning I'd need more hours at work. Meaning I'd need to spend more on childcare. Meaning I would be stuck in a loop. I'm done with this bullshit. Guess I'll just have to stick out being a SAHM...

Edit to add: SO works, but all of his money goes on bills, food and necessary stuff for our children.

The course I want to do won't accept student loans because it's only a short course (3 hours a week in the evening).

It's a hands on, practical course, so no way to do it all online. I can't get hand me down materials because most of what I'd need are flowers.

Most of my SO family works, and those that don't live too far away. The only people in my family that would actually be willing to help either have jobs or can't due to health problems. The rest of my family is useless.