For some reason I thought I was an equal in our marriage. My husband left someone he loved to try to make things work with me for the sake of our children. A year has gone by and things are not where I thought they would be. The way he sees me is not what I thought. I knew he didn’t love me but I at least thought he cared about me. I was very wrong in thinking that. Tonight he was trying to find something and I didn’t know where it was. I’m 39 weeks pregnant and was not feeling well and was extra cranky and hormonal today. He threw a fit and started throwing things across the room angrily during his search. My 12 year old cousin and toddler were in the room. I sent them out of the room so they didn’t have to see or hear anything. We got into a very big fight over this. Screaming and yelling. I got to the point where I had enough and told him so. That I would not stand for that behavior in front of children. He told me it’s his house and he can do and say whatever he wants. Words were exchanged and things kept escalating. I threw his clothes in a garbage bag and took his house keys and told him to leave. He did. That’s when I realized the mistake I made. Bc he’s not a normal person and this situation is not normal. I knew that things would get drastically worse bc of my actions so I called him and apologized and asked for him to come back. After a lot of crying and groveling he did. Totally calm as if nothing happened. A while later he told me that bc of my stunt tonight that he was going to do everything in his power to mentally torture me to bring me to the point of throwing him out again so that he could then destroy everything around me and watch me burn.

Edit: not sure why some of you said I’m with him bc of my need to feel loved and wanted. Last time I checked the situation I’m in is not the definition of feeling loved and wanted. Those words would never be used by me. I initially posted this bc I needed to vent. This is my daily life. I live in constant fear of him, fear that he’s going to take my children from me if I dare leave him. Both of my children with him were unplanned but could not bare the thought of having an abortion. He wishes for my death constantly, treats me the way he does bc he was cheating on me when I was pregnant with our first and according to him met the love of his life and sacrificed his love to be a committed father to his children, in his eyes it’s my fault he is not with her and I should have had an abortion and bc I didn’t, it is now his mission in life to punish me for that. So no, I would not say I have a need to feel loved and needed by this man, I put my sanity and life on the line every single day to ensure the safety of my children bc I fear what he would do and expose them to if we were separated.