Mommas without an education?

Question

I’m 22 and I’m about to have my second daughter. I’m in school but I don’t have a degree yet and honestly I’m not even sure what I want to do with my life career wise.. I’ll hopefully have my business degree in a year.. all i know is I want a beautiful family. 
I work part time and my husband makes enough to provide financially.
But I still feel like my friends judge me.. they are all graduating from universities this year. And they all make comments about how they would never want to have a kid before they had their career. Which is FINE but I feel like it’s sorta a strike towards me.. they’ll also make comments about how they wouldn’t ever want to have to count on a man financially. It just sucks because the things they openly say shows they don’t respect my decisions in life. I can only imagine what they say behind my back. 
Anybody else in a similar situation?

Answer

IMO there is no greater skill or reward than raising a family and watching your children grow. I have a masters degree and chose to stay home and raise my child (soon to be children) and have received plenty of backlash for giving up my career. I agree that it’s wise to have a career in case (heaven forbid) divorce or a family emergency - but otherwise it’s a completely personal and if it is what works for your family and you that’s all that really matters.

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Truly? Those are not your people. Time to makes changes because that’s not a supportive or genuine circle.

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I think you might benefit from finding a circle of friends in a similar situation. You’ll have so much in common and can learn from them.

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They don’t seem like your true friends if they’re not being supportive and understanding of your situation and decisions. I am still in college and have about another 1.5 years left of my degree. My graduating class was supposed to be 2018 but I changed my major multiple times and ended up in criminology so it’s taken longer to finish. I am pregnant with twins, work full time to help pay bills and life expenses. I am choosing to finish and graduate because I’ve come this far and I’m not quitting. There will always be some people who don’t support your decisions in life and if they can’t get over it then why have them in it. Keep doing what you feel is best for you and your family. Don’t worry about what other people think.

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I do have a degree in elementary education, but felt pressured by my parents to get a degree (I wouldn’t have met my husband without going to collage though). I taught 3 years before we stated our family. I don’t ever plan to go back into a classroom. I plan to homeschool my children. I feel like a getting a degree just to get one is pointless. I pay student loans monthly for a degree I don’t use professionally. Now I use my education daily with my 3 year old and plan preschool activities for her. It wasn’t a useless degree by any means, but I don’t need a degree from a university to be a good mom and teach my children. Don’t feel pressured to get one. You will find many wonderful moms who don’t have a professional degree. I have many friends who we see weekly at our library story and play group, I love watching them be moms and I have no idea any of their educational background. When your baby is here you’ll worry more about making friends for your kiddo and being a good mom than having a degree you won’t use.

Answer

Eh, people are different, it’s fine. If someone told me they wouldn’t want to have kids before a career I’d just be like 🤷🏻‍♀️ 
What I will say is having your degree will be useful if you ever DO decide to work, so definitely try to finish it up so you have options, but honestly, if you can stay home and don’t have to work, good for you. I work full time and so does my husband and it’s really hard and I wish I could just stay home. We have a lot of debt to pay off and I have a degree and my husband doesn’t so I actually make more money and if I didn’t work we’d be sacrificing our largest source of income which would basically make it impossible for us to survive. Honestly, when our debt is paid off (counting down the seconds, it’ll probably take up to 7 years) I’d love to quit my job or work part time so I can spend more time with my kids. I want to homeschool too so it’s a lot. 
But anyway I got on a tangent. Being a mom is a total full time job! And in a lot of ways it’s way more fulfilling than working at a job you don’t totally love (ie 99% of all working people probably) just to make money to eat and survive, because you get to see these little people you manage every day grow and learn and it’s really amazing. You’re a full time teacher, chef, housekeeper, team leader, driver, accountant, social manager, event planner, etc. there are so many calculators on the internet that attempt to add up the monetary value of a stay at home parent’s work, and it’s bananas, if you paid someone to do all the stuff a SAHM does, it’s like over $100000 a year. 
You’re young, so your friends are being dumb and rude because they have no idea what having a child entails. But you’ll know that it’s a completely fulfilling “career.” Honestly, I look at childless people and I’m like “yeah you can go out for brunch whenever and go on vacation wherever, but when you die you’ll be gone and nobody will really care” which is a horrible way to look at it I know but it’s true! Your life is DEFINITELY more FUN without kids, but it’s meaningless. Some people value fun over meaning and that’s fine for them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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I think women should not be judged for pursuing what they love. In today’s feminist culture, women with exhausting full time jobs and careers are praised, while women who prefer to be stay at home moms are looked down on as if they’re “cheating” themselves. From the time I was about 13-14 years old, I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I still plan on going back to work once the kids are in school but those first 5-6 years of their lives are so important and I wouldn’t want to do anything else than be with them and nurture them. I can’t imagine a baby sitter spending more time with my babies than me. My sister, on the other hand, who’s a couple years older than me, is totally career minded. She doesn’t care about having kids and is pursuing her doctorate in psychology. I can tell she thinks I’m “settling” by getting married young and starting a family early. I’m not settling, this is what I’ve known I wanted since before I even grew out of childhood myself! I wish people would realize that everyone is different and has different desires. A stay at home mom is not stupid, lazy, or settling. Just like a career-focused woman isn’t lacking in love, affection, or the ability to mother. When will people realize it’s not about the accomplishments. It’s about the people.

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I'm not in the same position, but I have a college degree and tons of student loans and I'm taking time off of a "career" to raise our child. Yes, someday I will go back to work, but the monthly student loan payment I am making while not working is very frustrating. An expensive college education doesn't always make sense for everyone. Do what works for you!

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I‘m not sure I‘d call those people “friends”. As long as your family is provided for you are doing just fine.

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I am not in a similar situation but I work at a university and I have so many students that come through paying for a private education and should not be there.  Honestly I think everyone’s path to an education is in their own time.  Some need a break after HS, some need to have a family, others don’t need an education because the world is full of opportunities that can be learning experience enough.  Example, I have a masters degree and work in education which doesn’t pay wel nor do I absolutely love what I do.  My baby brother makes 3 times what I do and he loves his job with no degree.  Momma you do you and don’t worry what your friends are thinking.  Be confident in the path you are choosing for you and your family!  Everyone has different goals at different times in their lives!!

Mommas without an education?

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