I just had my second child 2 months ago and in that span my husband and I maybe had sex 5-7 times. We have been together for 5 years total. When we first met, we would have sex daily and I wanted it just as much as he did. It was never an issue.

My mom passed about 6 months after we met and I became an adult due to being 19 and now having to live on my own. I became super stressed because my job wasn’t cutting it now that I had rent to pay. That lowered my sex drive. That and grieving my moms loss. I have had depression and anxiety in the past where I’ve had panic attacks. So this triggered my anxiety too. We would then have sex maybe 3-4x a week. We got married, and had our first child and my husband would tease me (in front of people might I add) that I was asexual. Because we never had sex. Mind you we were having frequent sex before and during my pregnancy and even after. I didn’t wait the 6 weeks due to pressure by him. It’s my fault as well because I could have said no. It’s my body after all. Now his mom makes jokes saying we only have sex once a year and it’s around his birthday since boy kids were conceived around that time. We just so happened to agree to ttc at this time it wasn’t because we only have sex once. Anyways, our sex life got worse and worse due to the demands of our child. No problem I’m a dedicated mother. Now we have our second child and sex is maybe every 3-4 days sometimes we will go a week without it. If I’m lucky to hold him off that long. I don’t have a drive. Not sure if it’s because I’ve had to give in to him to make him happy so now I see it as a chore. Or his pushy ways just turn me off.

He gets me off and makes me orgasm so that isn’t an issue. The sex doesn’t suck completely, but there’s no passion on my end. When I try my hardest to please him and make a connection, he says I only give 25-50%. It’s hurtful because I’m only having sex in the first place to please him so if it’s not good enough then why am I submitting myself to being criticized?

My husband has insulted me a bunch about our sex life. He says in vanilla, I’m a grandma, or I’m asexual. He’s even asked repeatedly if I’m a lesbian. I’m very much into men. I’ve had great sex before in life. I used to be very sexual. I just think our bond and marriage is fucked up due to his view on sex and his approach to it. It’s a total turn off to be asked repeatedly if we are going to have sex. Just let it happen and get off of my ass and maybe I’d get in the mood? Idk. He seems to think I could go years without it. Idk what to do here. He makes me feel like less of a woman. I can’t take much medicine due to nursing. Idk what to do here. Any advice is welcomed. Even if you have none but are going through this too, it’d be nice to know that I’m not alone.