When I first started dating my current bf, I started the pill for the first time. In the next 6 months while I stayed on the pill, I gained 30 lbs. Its been 2 years now and I’ve gained 40 in total and I feel like shit. I’m fat, nothing fits, just icky. I also added highlights to my hair last summer, and the dye took out my natural curl and I was left with flat stringy parts where the highlights were. My hair and waist were my favorite attributes and they’re both gone. I no longer turn heads or get compliments. I’ve stopped wearing makeup. All I wear is my bf’s old tees and leggings. I can’t seem to lose the weight and my bf never wants to have sex. He still likes me I’m sure, he slaps my butt and squeezes my tits, but he’d much rather jerk off in the shower than spend time in bed with me. We’ve had sex three times in the last month and a half. We used to have it probably twice a week, even after I gained weight. I’m always down for sex but he never wants to. He’s just ‘not in the mood’. It hurts. I’ve told him. He doesn’t care. We’re fine every other way, I just feel left out if that makes any sense. I don’t even know anymore. I don’t even know why I made this post. I’m just sad, I guess.