Current Ectopic

I'm 8wks2days today and for 7 days I've been waiting to "miscarry" from my right fallopian tube. I've had 2 doses of methotrexate 7 days ago and another dose today because my hcg levels aren't declining enough. If this doesn't work they'll have to do surgery and take the baby AND the tube. I feel numb like it almost isn't real, then heartbroken that it was just in the wrong spot! I'm trying to stay positive because God knows all, but I'm just a mess of different emotions and there's still no blood. I don't wanna experience that pain of miscarriage when I was so looking forward to the pain of childbirth! And the thought of going to only have one tube makes me feel so insecure. I always wanted lots of children, I'm the oldest of 13! 😔😢

-Hopeless in Virginia