So my fiance and I are deeply invested. We have a home together and so many beautiful things we have created over the last eight years. My only major problem is that I have a really hard time getting off. Really hard time. And I want to have sex a lot more often than I guess he does. We have great sex. He is lucky. I am the most eager woman about pleasing him. Constant blow jobs. I'm trying to work myself up to doing anal with him. It's something HE wants. I want to grant every fantasy to him. But I often desire/need a little help once he's already finished(I want him to finger me). He more than not refuses saying he's tired. It's like "why aren't you done yet". "I'm tired, leave me alone" I've tried every method of talking to him about it. I've left the room and slept n the couch upset when he's refused me. I've cried. Tried to initiate convo. I've considered there may be something he's insecure about but he absolutely will not talk to me about it. I don't know what to do. We just argued about it again. I asked what he'd do if I refused to give blowjobs. He said he wouldn't be with someone like that in the first place. Double standard. I pointed that out and basically he declined to speak further on it. It feels honestly like he doesn't appreciate all I do for him. It's taken for granted. I asked him if he thinks every guy gets spoiled like he does. He really doesn't see it. He said "I guess im lucky" you guess? He wants to have 3sums and things someday and he doesn't understand how we can't get to that level if he can't even show me some dedication where I need it.

What do I do? Nothing is working. Arguing, crying, talking, buying a toy. Nothing. I've tried explaining how it makes me feel and actually adds to not being able to get off. You can tell he doesn't wanna do it. It's like a chore. Not enjoyable. As soon as he denies me it kills all the mood. You think he'd see how much I enjoy it and WANT to do it? I don't get how he can just roll over?

Wtf?