Hi all, frustrated 18 yr old here. I have a really tense relationship with my mother and have from day one. She’s threatened to kick me out all the time since I turned 15 but then threatens to call the cops on me if I ever left. I just recently turned 18 and have already made plans to move out and finally get away I just have a little more time in here to save finances.

My mother has done nothing but do everything in her power to control me. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years now and it’s seemingly been a point of irritation for her despite her saying she actually likes him and him being a very good guy.

Once I had started being active, I had used condoms but wanted to get on birth control so I had insurance that I was being safe and smart, and sat my mother down to talk about it maturely and she was so mad at me that I didn’t tell her about it right then and there. Then, after much persistence from me she let me. I had to switch from pill to pill because I was having all kinds of symptoms. I then decided I wanted to get an IUD so that I could be assured I’m protected while moving out and being a full time student no longer under my parents insurance. She wouldn’t let me, and hesitated and continued to put off my appointment by not scheduling but wouldn’t let me because she’d be pissed at me for scheduling it myself. She’d started saying weird things like, “Well if you get pregnant or something, you wouldn’t get to go to college anymore.” which freaked me out because she sounded like she wanted me to get pregnant. I realized she had no intention of calling so I just did and it worked out. I went and got it placed in but my mother made me promise she could go with me and then forced herself into the room with me and my provider. (A thing she does at every single check up/etc. and throws an absolute fit when she isn’t allowed or if I say anything about wanting to be alone). We finished up, and the nurses go to get me a little baggy of condoms as protocol. My mother spits out at the nurse “Oh she has PLENTY.” and embarrassing me. The nurse was now silently judging me.

My mother was referring to the time she went into my room when I was not there and went through my belongings, found the box I kept my condoms in and threw away HALF of them. When I got home and realized she had raided my room, I had panicked and had to search for the box because she’d completely hidden it. Since then, I’ve begged my mother not to go in my room and that was almost 2 years ago. Every time I go out, I stress about her going through my belongings. To the point where I try not to leave the house when she’s there. Or I don’t leave for long.

Well, this week I slipped up.

My boyfriends father was taken into the hospital and he called me at 1am and asked me to be there for him for support so I obviously got up and let my mother know I was leaving, where, when, how, etc. And before I left I asked her to please not go into my room without me being there. I even left a note in my room on my bed saying so.

I left and went over to my boyfriends house. I was there for most of the next to comfort him and support him. I went back home and my mother had raided my room again, and found my vibrator. It is now completely gone, nowhere in my room. I am so embarrassed and upset because I’ve never done anything to deserve any of this, and I have always been very open and honest and communicative with my mother. I respect her and never go into her room, ever. I have never disobeyed her or disrespected her. I have always done exactly as she’s asked me to, from curfew to no longer hanging out with people if she just suddenly didn’t like them anymore to not going out when she asked, giving up my phone if she wanted me to. I have never even gotten into trouble with her so I don’t understand why I’m being treated like this. Am I wrong?