Fuck titties

Dammit what did I do this time. My 7yo cat cant open her eye. It looks bad and I don't have the money to take her to the vet rn. I love my kitty even if she is a pain in the ass. Last time I took one of my anamals to the vet the vet put him down and I wasn't even allowed to say goodbye. So I dont want to take her to the vet but that eye looks so bad I am worried and feel like I am tied down unable to help her. Anyone know what this looks like to you?