Dear Sleep

Dude, what the fuck?

We're not simpatico anymore and I can't handle this.

Do you not understand how badly you're needed and appreciated??

I lie here awake after a 3 hour NAP, struggling to get back to you, and its like you want to stay away for good!

Every single night, 3 hours, 4 if I'm lucky. Every day, I walk in a fog, my eyes burn, my heads cloudy.

Every night I think because of pure exhaustion I'll sleep like the dead.

And every night I fail to do so.

Whats worse is your abandonment tonight is selfish and rude. In 5 hours I have to go to work, my physically demanding job requires me to be alert and energetic. I lie here dreading going because I am SO exhausted. But I need the money desperately.

I keep thinking MAYBE things will change when Baby is born. Any day now that can happen. But I'm delusional. I can not take a sedative to rest. I can not get on meds to help me sleep. I need to be easily woken if Baby needs me! And nursing limits what I can safely take anyway.

I almost wonder if this is you preparing me for Baby. But honestly I don't need the preparation and you know that...

I just need you to be by my side so I can play catch up. Since thats not possible tonight, can we aim for tomorrow? I am desperate. I am miserable. Please help.