Should I send this? 💔 (breakup)

Question

🚨just a little back story: my bf and I have known each other for 5 months and been together for 4. The relationship started to fall apart about a month in. He’s gotten drunk and told me he is going to cheat. He’s told me he will never be in love with me and he doesn’t see us going long term. He’s in a frat and refuses to bring me around his friends or even be mad public about our relationship. We don’t go out, he stopped putting in effort, and has told me he that i am not a top priority. I’m very very hurt and I think it is time for me to walk away. I want to send him this text because we haven’t talked much in the past three days. I’m ready to call it but despite all he’s done I feel guilty and can’t seem to let go. Should I send this?🚨
     Before I met you, I had set my mind on being alone for a while. I had no clue you would come into my life and change my mind. As I got to know you more I felt like I could trust you. I’ve told you many times before how afraid I was to be in a relationship but the more I got to know about you, the less afraid I was. We spent so much time together. Laughing, finding things we had in common, and making memories that I’ll always cherish. I allowed you into my life not knowing what would happen but I took that leap of faith with you. You made me feel beautiful, smart, funny, and wanted. I didn’t think i had any more space in my heart but you proved me wrong. I started to care for you so early on and I was willing to put you before things that mattered to me or even myself. I forgot I had the ability to care for someone in that way and I was more than happy to show you how much I care. I still care and that’s the crazy thing. My feelings for you haven’t changed, I like you. 
    When things started I know how exciting they were and our hearts were in it. As time has gone on I’ve watched you fade away. It’s heartbreaking watching the person you want to be with fade away. They slip from your fingers and you’re left wondering what you did for them to want to disappear. I’ve sat in my car many times crying after I leave from being with you or even when I haven’t heard from you all day because I miss us. I’ve asked you time and time again if this is what you really want. I know it’s frustrating but I just get so frustrated because your actions speak louder than your words. I miss feeling wanted by you. That’s a feeling I can’t shake or even fully explain. It just feels empty and lonely and leaves me wishing I could rewind time. Sometimes I just wish I could go back in time and relive those days. I felt like the only girl in the world and most importantly, your girl. I feel like I’ve lost my place and have lost importance. It happens though, right? People lose that but damn I didn’t know it would happen this soon. I know you aren’t comfortable with all this mushy stuff and maybe I’m just not the right girl. You told me I was your other half.. at least I was for a while. Maybe I’m the reason it’s so hard for you. Maybe I just push too hard. Maybe I’m just a fucking mess and it’s made you not want me as much. Maybe I’m not good enough to feel wanted. Or maybe this all got too much for you. 
    I’ve been in this relationship 100% and I’ve shown you my heart. In a way, I feel like that’s why I got so comfortable. I showed you what my heart looked like so early on in our relationship. I’ve told you things I would never dig up again cause they hurt too much, but I was willing to show you the hurt I’ve been through. Fuck, maybe that’s my fault for allowing myself to be vulnerable. I blame myself a lot for things that I have no control over cause it’s easier than not knowing an answer as to why things are the way they are.  
    From day one, I’ve wanted what is best for you and that hasn’t changed. Regardless of what has been said or done in this relationship I still pray that you become the person you want to be. I hope you get your degree, start a beautiful career, own your own business, travel, and finally be close to home so you can be with your family. I know it’s hard and I know you’ve given up that time to pursue a dream. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, I know you don’t need me at all. I’m proud of you for all you’ve accomplished this summer and I’m hopeful for all the things you will accomplish in the future. Behind the tough exterior, there is a beautiful soul and not many get to see that. I’ve had the pleasure to see that vulnerable side of you and I’m honored. 
     I feel like I’ve done all I can to make this work. I’ve put my heart out on the line and I get nothing in return. Relationships work when both people want it enough. I don’t where we went wrong but our relationship has fallen. Nothing crazy happened, there was no big fight, there was no cheating, but in a way I wish something bad had happened to make this hurt a little less. Maybe my perception of a relationship is different from yours. You told me you didn’t want me to be blind and you’re right. I’m blinded by the hope that one day you’ll realize what you have and maybe you’ll change. I’ve been waiting for that since April but I’ve only watched you grow more and more distant. 
      The truth is, I’ve been holding on because I gave you my time, energy, and my heart. All of that is so valuable to me but none of that matters now. I know in my heart that I’ve tried and Im hurting inside. I don’t know what’s going on in your life and you don’t know about mine. We went from falling asleep texting each other to barely even communicating. We lost all of that and I feel like I lost you. 
   Typing this out felt like hell and I cried through most of it. There is so much more that I could say but it would be pointless now. I think you’ve pushed me so far out of your life, I don’t belong. Maybe it is the best decision for us to just call it here. There has been enough hurt and I’m holding on to a relationship that is holding on by a single thread. Maybe now you can find happiness and someone who doesn’t require as much as I do. Maybe there will be someone pretty enough now or smarter. I appreciate the time we’ve spent together and there are no hard feelings. Maybe this was a right person wrong time type of thing, but maybe I’m wrong. I know this will be easier for you, now you don’t have to worry about spreading yourself so thin. I hope you achieve all your goals and just know I’m rooting for you. I don’t want this to end because I pictured so much more. I had hope for so much more out of us but I guess we weren’t on the same page. I tried to protect our relationship in all ways but it’s time for me to protect and fix my own heart. Thank you for all of the beautiful memories. Don’t worry, you won’t hear me speak bad on your name or disrespect you. I’m going to just walk away peacefully. If we ever run into each other don’t be afraid to say hello. I’ll be here if you ever need me. I wish nothing but the best for you. There are no hard feelings, I just need to walk away for my own heart. Thank you for all of the laughs and for helping me grow. Best of luck.

Accepted Answer

I didn’t read it but judging how long the text is and how you describe him in the first paragraph, he prob won’t read it and won’t care. Only 4 months together and he seems immature, he doesn’t deserve all that. You took the time to write it here, hopefully you got it all out and maybe you can move on without sending

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I didn’t read it because once you said what he told you I realized you don’t need to say anything to him. Block him on everything, move on and don’t look back.

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I read it all and i think its beautiful written but what youve said about him its way more than he deserves.

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Do not send that 😬

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Girl, he doesn't deserve that. He's an enormous asshole, don't give him the satisfaction of your effort. That was probably really therapeutic for you to write out but he doesn't deserve any more of your effort. Honestly, he probably won't even read it. Block that asshole and move on, you deserve so much better ❤

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That’s a lot to read so I didn’t and I doubt he would too. But honestly if you want to say all of this, and have things to get off your chest it’s always best to say it in person instead of over text.

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Nope. That’s a terrible idea.

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Do not send that. He honestly won't care and won't read it. I'd say only send him "I wish you the best but this isn't working. I had a lot of fun with you and I thank you for that bit I think it would be for the best if we stopped seeing each other." Like after reading the whole thing I think you should only give him a sparknotes 1-3 sentence version maximum.

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Don’t send him anything. You don’t owe him that. Just be out

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I read the whole thing, and it broke my heart! I feel for you, girl. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from my fair share of ASSHOLES, is that they do NOT deserve the effort and time you have put into writing that. They do not care, and they KNOW what they’ve done wrong. As difficult as it is - block him and move on. He’s a piece of shit that’s not worth your time of day