***FYI, THIS IS LONGER THAN MY "MANS" DICK SO BE PREPARED***

So my best friend has a whole bunch of random people on her snap and I was hella bored, so when she asked if I could do her streaks I also posted on her story saying "add me". So this guy adds me and I start a convo and after a while I found out that he's 20 (I'm 17 1/2) and he lives 800+ miles away. We ended up just sending streaks and talking about whatever, he was so sweet and was encouraging me and lifting me up when I felt like I was gonna fail exams and shit. About two weeks after we started talking, I wake up to a video from him and I was just opening it was his streaks, NOPE he accidentally sent me a video of him jacking off. In my 17 and a half years of existence (psa: I've had sex and sent nudes and masturbate and all that), I haven't had the pleasure of seeing a dudes tattooed hand jack himself off let alone seen a dick as big as his and I gotta be honest, ya girl gotta little turned on. Anyway, he accidentally sent it and then sent a message saying something along the lines of "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to send that, I completely understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore." Me over here though, being all hot and bothered and wanting jump him, told him it was okay/fine and I could tell he didn't send it just for attention. We go back to normal and the next week he gets his wisdom teeth removed, this guy told me, while wrapped up in his sisters hello kitty blanket that I was beautiful and sweet. A couple days later, I texted him (idk why I did since at the time I was really horny) and I asked how he was feeling and he said "in a mood" and when I asked what kind of mood, he said a NSFW kind. I offered to help him and after that day, we started sending pictures and videos. He was always a little mysterious and didn't want to tell me anything personal at first but after we started sexting he answered some questions and long story short he's 20, has depression and a slight addiction to getting tattoos and he hates himself because of something that happened in a past relationship. A week or two ago, I told him I really liked him and after the shit my ex put me through, I was able to smile because of him and I told him how much he meant to me, he told me that he really liked me too but that he is afraid of getting in a relationship cause he didn't want to end up hurting me. We went back to our flirty messages and adorable texts that usually only couples would send but I'm so conflicted. Everything that has happened in my life is usually early, and every day I keep catching myself almost just saying "good night I love you" but I tell myself that he isn't ready for a relationship in general let alone a long distance one and I feel like if I tell him I really do love him, it'll scare him away and I don't want to lose such an amazing guy. Idk why I just spent the last half hour ranting about him, if you've read this far, please let me know your thoughts on him/what I should do/things you relate to, idk lmk what you think.