Hi everyone!

A bit of backstory here- so apologies for a long post in advance...

4 years ago, I was in college and my now-husband was just starting in the military. My student housing in Florida became too much, so he asked me to marry him sooner than planned so I could move in with him up in Washington and finish my degree online.

Our promise to each other was that by the time his 6 year contract was up, we’d have our degrees and careers lined up so that his transition out would be smooth.

I got my bachelors degree and SHRM certification, and have been working HR in an awesome career for 2 years now. I make exactly half the income, and we’re doing super well financially. So well that we decided we wanted to have a baby. We tried for a year, and no luck. Then my husband had an 8 month deployment. He’s been back a couple months and still no luck. He’s coming up on getting out, so I asked him where along he is on his degree (he told me he was almost done last year)

He confessed that he’s nowhere close to being done, and not even in the correct degree field for his intended career. I tried every combination of numbers and no matter what, unless he makes his current salary in the civilian field, because of having to pay for health insurance and rent for the first time (no more Tricare or BAH) we’d be in the hole. Baby or not.

We both were riding on the assumption that he’d be a teacher when he gets out, after obtaining his degree and certifications. Now it looks like he’ll be getting minimum wage.

We are in the MIDST of fertility evaluations, doctors are ready to start <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>. I worked my ass off, working and going to school full time at the same time so we could have our family and it feels like he lied and let me down. I asked him to stay in another 4 years so we could have the baby, have him finish his degree, and get more prepared.

He called me money-hungry and selfish. I worked so hard for this baby. I thought he was too. I feel so stupid and now like some horrible “dependa-potamus” military wife.

Yet- he still wants both: get out in a year and a half, AND have a baby right now. I’ve tried to show him we can’t but he tells me I just “don’t trust him”

I make half the income. I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. I always promised to keep my career for our lifestyle. Am I wrong for asking him to stay in and own up to his mistakes, and give us what he promised?