So in November 2018 is when I lost my first one around 5 weeks, then I had to get methotrexate injections, I felt so weird because I was already bleeding, then about two days later is when all the cramps and heavy bleeding started it’s like everything hit me at once... It was worse than af cramps and I had weird blood clots! And all I could take is Tylenol, it hurt for me to walk! I low key wanted to buy depends!!

The whole process took me on an emotional roller coasters! I felt like something was wrong with me!

Now (July 2019) I lost my second one. We was actually trying for this one and got slapped in the face all over again... I went in on Monday for a ultrasound they couldn’t find anything, I’ve literally felt fine I didn’t have any pain nor spotting or bleeding, so I didn’t understand why could this be happening to me again my hCG levels was up to 5000 something and I didn’t know how to feel about anything so of course they recommend that we go with the Methotrexate again! So they gave me the injection yesterday, so now that I know from the previous it will take a some days to kick in, we’re playing the waiting game!!

Again!!! Is what I thought and I’ve never felt so worthless I had thought the first time was devastating, but this time we actually tried! We tracked everything, from bbt, cm, and opk! Then I had finally got my BFP! He was probably more excited than I was!

I just feel bad!

I feel upset

I’m very emotional

With him being away working I feel alone!

I’ve been crying since Monday!