I'm 16 and when I was 10 I was diagnosed with a lot of things like: anxiety, depression, adhd, conduct disorder, sensory disorder, and PTSD. I have PTSD because of something that happened when I was younger I was home alone with my dad and we were watching a movie I was 9 at the time when somebody knocked on the door my dad went to go answer it bc he thought that it was takeout that we ordered earlier but no it was people who wanted to hurt us they started hitting my dad my dumbass went to go see what was going on my dad yelled my name and told me to run they people saw me I tried to run put they grabbed me and they raped me. That night will forever haunt me I'll never forget it I got extremely depressed I excluded myself I've self harmed tried to stop but couldn't it's hard. I have a question why when you self harm why does it feel good after? I struggle with public places I have panic/anxiety attacks when in large crowds of people so I just stay in my room all day I'm trying to get on meds put they just make me feel sick and tired all they time ive checked myself into a mental hospital I didn't like it at all they wouldn't let me close my door idk why they kept saying that I'm a "high risk" But idk what that means. Sorry I just needed a quick rant