I feel angry and irritable to my very core, pissed off constantly, at literally everything except my baby. I had him 3 months ago and things are getting better but I feel like I am just becoming more and more of an asshole.

I feel like I’m mean to my pets and my husband. I have started fights over my husband leaving crumbs on the stove or leaving toothpaste crusted in the sink bowl l, and I have snapped at my pets for being animals (like the cats knocking stuff over or begging for food two hours after their last feeding). When my mom comes over all I do is bitch about my life. I literally can’t chill out and every day I get hyper focused on something to worry about. At the same time I feel so ungodly lazy. All I want to do is sit there and cuddle my baby (which he doesn’t even want to do anymore because he’s 3 months old) and watch tv or play games and eat and drink. I am usually a motivated person. Of course shit needs to get done because my husband is working and I’m now at home (quit my job to be a SAHM) so when I get started cleaning I get into a hyper anxiety mode and go overboard and overwhelmed and then I feel super angry about the fact everything is dirty and my pets left hair on stuff and my cats left litter granules on the kitchen table, my husband didn’t clean out the fridge etc.

We just bought a house. Closing date is right after Labor Day. I feel physically drained just thinking about packing. I can’t even get started I’m so overwhelmed. I think, do we deserve to move with our gross pets? Will I miss out on precious times with my baby leaving him in his crib to play while I pack? How will we move all of this? Why do we have so much crap? Now I have to clean again because we have animals and oops now I can’t get to packing today. Will I be able to clean a bigger house? Why do I feel so unhappy when my whole life is great and I get to move to a nice house and I have a cute baby and I don’t have to work that job anymore?

I wish I could be sweet again. I wish this shit didn’t bother me. I wish I felt nice again. I dunno why I’m such a jerk and why I am so irritated and I hate everything. I love my husband and my baby. I am usually patient with my husband and ALWAYS patient with my baby. I truly wish motherhood was only taking care of the baby instead of all the other shit like trying to pick up groceries with a newborn in 90 degrees and struggling to get it all into the house plus carseat and diaper bag with dumbass dog jumping on me and crushing the bread while trying to close the door before he cats get onto the porch. It’s shit like that I just fume over!

I am such an angry awful person now and I don’t know what to do.