I’m scared I won’t be able to conceive.

Like my ship sailed back in 2012 when my periods changed and I wasn’t ready for a baby. They used to be the standard 5-7 days, heavy flow that then gradually tapers off. Regular as clockwork. Now, for the last almost 10 years, they follow a VERY different pattern, but are still consistent and regular.

I start spotting four to five days ahead of what must actually be my period? So the “bleed” duration is now like 9 days counting the spotting. But my flow itself when it finally starts is moderate at best. I have like ONE day where I have cramps and need to change my pad (it’s not enough for tampons and I don’t like them anyway). And so I only have respectable bleeding for three or four days, Max.

I’ve seen SO MANY DOCTORS and their reaction when I share this is “you’re lucky. Shut up and go home.” I’m still regular and with other signs of ovulation, like cervical mucus. But now that I’m actually trying to conceive I’m scared there’s some huge stupid hormone imbalance that no one will be able to pinpoint, let alone solve. Or it’s fibroids. Or luteal phase deficiency. Or endometriosis.

And to make matters worse, my husband and I ordered a kit online to test his sperm concentration and the numbers were so low! We have changed his diet and they’re now more in a “moderate” range. But he has a varicocele too, so the sperm he does make might be unable to survive the trip to my egg. We just don’t know.

I just...I need someone to tell me it’s ok. That this is only my first month trying and it’s still more than a week before I can test. But, if anyone else conceived with a super light period like this...please tell me! I need some hope. Or if you conceived despite a husband with a low sperm concentration.