So many of us in this group blame ourselves for our rapes or assaults because we didn't fight hard enough or didn't say no enough times. Somehow it's our fault in our minds because we went numb in the moment and let it happen. Because we didn't scream and kick and hurt our attacker when it happened. Because we let ourselves get manipulated and tricked into something we didn't want. Or because we didn't do anything afterwards. I've been blaming myself too. I've felt guilty and I've been over here bashing myself over what happened, even years later, because I wish I'd done more to stop it. I feel weak. I feel worthless, because if I can't even protect myself, what am I good for? But I keep telling myself, and I'll tell you too: IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT. It's your attackers fault. They decided to ignore your wishes. They decided to hurt you. They should be the ones feeling guilty, because they are the ones who did something wrong. THEY did this. Not you. We didn't choose. We are not to blame. It's hard to keep negative thoughts out. But please, every time you start thinking that it's your fault you were raped, catch yourself, tell yourself "NO, it isn't my fault" and put the blame back where it belongs: on your attacker.