Is catfishing still cheating?
My hubby and I are in a happy functional relationship. I have a 9 yr daughter from a previous marriage. We divorced when she was 4, and soon after I met my now husband. He immediately stepped up as a father figure in her life and I couldn't have been more blessed to find someone that loved my child as much as he loved me. We dated for a few years then married. During the time when we were dating i discovered that he had a dating app profile when my SISTER saw his picture on there. He swore up and down that it was an old profile but I know for a fact that the picture was taken since we were together. I got upset but eventually let it go. A year later I found out he had in fact cheated and decided to leave. He begged me not to leave that he screwed up but my daughter and me were his whole world. I was hurt. But at the same time I didnt want my daughter to be hurt by ripping her away from her daddy who she loved so much. In the end I decided to stay but told him never again. I will not be cheated on. Christmas that same year he proposed. I was so happy but at the same time in the back of my mind i wasn't sure if marriage was the smart thing to do. Our engagement was 2 years long. A few months before the date we had decided on, I found a fake dating profile he had on his phone. Fake pictures and fake name. He had people who he had messaged but all the messages were deleted. So I decided to be slick and started messaging these women acting like him, but picking for info at the same time. Ita unbelievable how easy it was to get a full picture of what they had talked about, how long they had been talking, and was anything sexual. I even give one lady his number to call (my phone number) and then carried on a conversation with her for over 2 hours about how he was catfishing and lying to everyone. She was very embarrassed about the situation and told me EVERYTHING.
So he had not met any of the women in person of course because he wasn't the guy in the pictures. But he had had phone sex and they had exchanged adult photos. I dont know if his photos were real or not. I called off the wedding. I took the next few days thinking over my situation. On one hand, he was super nice to me. Treated me and my daughter like royalty. He provided for us. My daughter loved him to the moon and back. His family had become our family. I was happy other than his "other life". Plus the wedding was fully set. Everything booked and paid. Dress was bought & everyone else had alot of money invested at this point. I felt like maybe I was making too big of a deal especially since he wasn't physically cheating. So I decided to go through with the wedding, again warning him that I wouldn't tolerate anymore. I'll be honest, my wedding day was every girls dream. It was perfect, I was happy, my daughter was happy.
Now we have been married 10 months and I just found ANOTHER fake profile. At first i considered that maybe it was from back then, but I picked the women for info again and found out that he had talked to one of them recently. I havent even mentioned to him that I know about this yet. Honestly I'm fed the f*** up with this bullshit. But now I'm struggling with the same feelings. I'm happy (other than this shit), my daughter is happy, he provided for us, he treats us like gold, our sex life is honestly amazing. Bit I dont understand why he keeps on doing this catfishing crap. In mind its cheating. Do you ladies think its cheating?