Missing my mom

Syvilla • Above all love each other deeply, for love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

It’s been exactly a week now that my mom died she was only 47 and they believe she had a heart attack. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m about 8 weeks pregnant with my second and my mom was so excited to have another grand kid now I don’t even want to announce our pregnancy. I just feel so lost without her she was so faithful to God and it just feels like he’s let us down. I know it’s not the case, but I can’t help but think how hard my family is taking this I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters. My youngest sisters are only 13 and 17 it just hurts so much to know none of my sister get to experience my mom being there for them and they become mothers and give birth. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I like more than 3,000 miles away from all my siblings and father and I just feel so guilty it’s just not feasible to pack up and move back even though that’s what I want. I have to stay at my current job until baby is born then try and find a new job I’m just so worried about how that will all play out now. Sorry I’m rambling thanks for reading this far.