Is it acceptable for me to not attend important events in my fiancé’s family if my social anxiety is too extreme?

Question

I always have had a bit of social anxiety but I can normally manage it.  Just not with his family, they make my anxiety debilitating 
My fiancé’s sister is having an engagement party and I have genuinely had panic attacks just THINKING about it
His das has groped me sexually at previous family functions and has an intimidating personality 
His cousin hates me for some reason and will 100% start shit with me or turn others against me 
His mum doesn’t respect my boundaries or privacy in general
His grandfather hates me because I’m not leading a Christian lifestyle 
I know if I attend I will need alcohol to calm my nerves.  But there is just no way something bad won’t happen or some type of confrontation . Let’s just say there’s a lot of unspoken tension and issues
This is just a brief idea of the situation

Answer

Anxiety is crippling at the best of times, don’t compromise your health for the sake of family visits, it’s not worth it.

Answer

Ok. The groping thing is concerning.. but the rest sounds like some projecting or assuming.  I sincerely doubt these people HATE you.
Let me ask you.. why you with this guy if you can't stand his entire family and they are groping you and shit? Like, what the actual fuck..

Answer

It is rude to not attend family events just because you’re anxious in any normal circumstance.
 It is NOT RUDE & RATIONAL to not attend any events where a guest has sexually assaulted you. & shame on your boyfriend for even trying to make you go/not cutting his dad off.

Answer

i voted before reading. i would never go anywhere where someone might sexually harass me!! what does your fiancé have to say about his fathers behavior because that is absolutely insane.

Answer

I voted before reading , don’t go hun , it’s not worth the hassle

Answer

Tbh I don't have social anxiety but I feel like the outcast in my husbands side of the family, so I refrain from attending any events that involve them. His family is a little difficult in general and more added ontop of that, so I told him I don't want to be in situations where I am uncomfortable, and he understands because he knows how awful his mom is and how difficult his family is

Answer

Completely acceptable to want to avoid abusive people.

Answer

Yes ur health comes first , not them

Answer

As a person that has been through the same I tell you is better for you to stay at gome than have a full on panic attack in the middle of an event. Me and my hub took a long to get to an understanding, I hope you two get there.

Answer

You need to report the sexual assault!

Is it acceptable for me to not attend important events in my fiancé’s family if my social anxiety is too extreme?

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