Hate yourself for being jealous?...

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and this year my jealousy has gotten worse and I honestly hate myself for it. A few months ago I found a picture of my boyfriend’s coworker in a lace bra and thong. It was posted on her story and he screenshotted it which makes it even worse. I flipped out and we argued because he told me that he sent it to a friend who she was trying to hook up with and I didn’t believe him. Tbh I still feel like he masturbated to it but he swore on everything that he didn’t do anything with the picture.

Now he posted a Snapchat video of him and his coworkers chilling because the power went out and there’s a girl at the beginning of the video trying to sneak in a pose and you can hear her annoying ass laugh and he’s sitting right next to her. Honestly it pissed me off and I texted him who the hell the girl is on Snapchat.

The girl on his Snapchat is named Mandi and she’s the girl I deleted off his Snapchat twice because she saw they weren’t friends anymore and she re-added him. He got mad at me for doing that and told me that if I delete anyone else off his phone that we’re done. Little things make my blood boil and I hate that I’m like this.

I’m currently going through depression which makes it worse because I already hate myself...I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m a jealous bitch, I’m emotional, I have no life and I hate it...idk what to do here. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend over some dumb shit that I caused but I also don’t trust girls now a days. They don’t care if you’re in a relationship and they’ll still do sneaky shit. My boyfriend has never cheated and the coworker picture is the first thing he’s ever done wrong. But we’re high school sweethearts, I’m his first everything and I kinda hate that. I feel like guys who have been with only one girl are more likely to cheat because they want to experience having sex with someone else....what’s wrong with me?