Dear…you

I don’t understand you, I don’t fucking get you. All this talk about how grown you are, and you can’t even tell me the truth about what you want. All this talk about how you ain’t got the time to be playing games and yet that’s all you do. Why do you insist on wasting my time? Lying to me about what you want? Do you think you’re being polite? Or do you just think I’m so damn fucking stupid and naive that I just “wouldn’t get it” and that I’d just believe anything bullshit you sit in front of me? You don’t know shit about me, we were “close” two fucking years ago well guess what shit’s changed. I am not. And will never be again. The same person I was in high school. If you don’t trust me fine I’d get that just say it. If you don’t want to or need to talk to me or want me to talk to just. Fucking. Say. It. It could be so easy and yet, you insist on it being the opposite. I put something together for you and you ghost me for days and days before leaving me on just plain ass read. You constantly talk about how the people around you ain’t shit but the moment I offer an escape you fake and you bail. HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM??? What? Do you think I’m trying to use you? Use you for what? Alcohol? I can get that myself. Weed? I can get that myself. Money? Get that myself. Support? You’re never. Here. Every convo we have is about you and only you. You have no idea what’s been going on in my life lately because you never fucking ask. Talking all this shit about how you ain’t got nobody, how no one cares about you. But that’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit.

Actually you know what? I do get you. You post these broad sweeping statements about how people ain’t shit because the people worrying about you and giving you attention and love aren’t the people you want to be getting that shit from. You don’t care about me because I’m not who you want it to be. I’m expendable. And yet, I’m probably one of the only ones you should be listening to. I don’t want shit from you except for you to take care of your damn self and yet I’m constantly disregarded and humored like a fucking child.

All i did wrong was care about you